Because I knew what I loved. I loved to read; I loved to listen to music; and I love cats. Those three things. So, even though I was an only kid, I could be happy because I knew what I loved. Those three things haven’t changed from my childhood. I know what I love, still, now. That’s a confidence. If you don’t know what you love, you are lost.
(Source: thebronzemedal, via somethingchanged)
i could not stand
to leave it be
he which gave life colour
walk on by so suddenly
1000 words which could be said
to try and replicate that which now seems dead
a pocket full of dreams
now torn at the thread
i lost a lover, i lost my best friend
what more can be said?
this now, as it were back then
to sit and to stumble
to walk and not talk
of
these thoughts that bury me alive
to rest in silence
to rest not at all
it
is just the beginning, of something which has happened before
i should know better
but do not
for i know what i shall not
words of mumble
words of woe
misery errupts thee
whom it best bestows.
to openmy eyes at 5:30,
to walk down the freezing hallway,
to the gloomy kitchen where i shall poor some orange juice.
back to the hallway, which will lead me to the only lit and slightly warm room.
is this how its going to be?
oh please, let it not be
because the cold is killing me.
and my sun ain’t shining though its smiling through the windows, through the clouds, it’s still lurking out there.
thank lord, thank them all.
let it not be, oh no don’t let it be until my sun comes out, please
just wait
for the sun.
I watched.
I waited.
For i knew none better than to think surely such joy could only be followed by such misery.
Kicked out of home,
with no place but one to go;
Closer to my love.
Closer to the one who’s smile is the only thing that can build me up within.
Through all the tears and fears,
one smile.
His smile.
Miles closer now,
and i shall learn, with my love lying by my side, i shall know, that this snow will stop its terrible fall.
And when the snow hits the earth’s grainy surface, my loves smile will bring the beginning of spring.
On the 6th night, i got quite a fright. I could feel the planets orbiting in a vicious way, and in the far away heavens they caused quite a fight. The moon spoke every so softly to violet rose neptune, “oh if only i may, if only i might, could i be yours for such a night?” The other planets stared, oh how they glared, for they knew that if this were to proceed it’d be such a beautiful site that they would not see, for the moon would no longer shine its light on them, only solely on the violet flame, oh how they just couldn’t bare. Why was it that Andromeda, goddess of the stars and quiet night, had chosen such a pair to fall into each others hearts on the 6th night? “You see” she said, directing her words to mars and Jupiter, ” the coming of these two has been on my list for quite sometime, watch as they move around each other so harmoniously, watch the way the dance, and you’ll soon see how it has put me in a romantic trance, i am forever abided to be in a stance. So i say to you, fiery mars and extravagant Jupiter, take a good glance, at how my love can be more grand, when you decide to expand your inner heartland.” With the words of such a goddess in their minds, the planets aligned, and made a magical sign with the mystical romance positively on their minds. And so they quieted down their fuss, and surely enough, they landed themselves on the happy space bus. Pluto brought the Bacardi, Venus bought the wine, and mercury made quite the fine dinner dine. It was a celebration in the highest of the mightiest sky, and the mayflies began to cry. So you see, besides the fright, the moon made me dazzle in the moonlight that night, and oh how i am forever to be rapped around him skintight, oh if only i might.
There is a bird,
a bird that lingers outside around dusk.
This bird is invisible to my eyes,
yet i know he is out.
Out out, creeping about.
That bird swoops down when i am out,
and puts my joint into its puckered mouth.
Ima’ catch that bird one day, and demand he spit it out.
He owes me grass, ima’ whip his sorry ass.
If i got lost in my dreams, would you know where to find me?
For the nights of pleasure,
for the nights of alone,
for the dawn of my future,
for the past that shall not be left unknown.
Fingers that enchant,
whispers that reveal,
loves constant disguise,
under the starry night it shall reveal.
Alone in the endless sky,
unknown from the birds nest,
future creation in thous womb,
pleasure does thy harmonic hymn create.
Venus’ beauty eyed upon,
by all thous captured in the rose,
ever so dark night,
cast a shadow into sight.
“Love is too young to know what conscience is.”
-W. Shakespeare
Never seek to tell thy love,
Love that never told can be,
For the gentle wind doth move.
Silently, invisibly.
I told my love, i told my love,
I told him all my heart,
Trembling, cold, in ghastly fears.
Ah! He did depart!
I said “doctor, please cure the pain in my chest.” he closed his eyes, and opened with a blank deep stare, his mouth began to quiver as he said the words i wish not be reminded about;”ma’am this pain isn’t solely caused by your cigarettes, indeed honey this ‘aint caused by dam cigarettes alone! This is the cause of whatever made you smoke all that dry tobacco, so tell me ma’am whats making your heart shake?”
I lifted my head heavily and met his eye line, deep down i stared, my lips twisted and turned until finally i replied, “doctor, it feels as if i have an icebox where my heart used to be.”
“Lying in bed tonight is hard. thoughts sore from various echoes of recent conversations. But what echoes the most is not words at all, but the veracity of someone in whom attacks my life in an absolutely stimulating way. ”
- I found this piece this morning whilst reading through all of my old writing from at least 2 years ago…amazing. I miss my young self, what happened? I can only bear to remember what this would of been about.
Someone pull the ropes, i’m swim swim swimming away from shore.
Oh! the other fish, oh the other fish! why do you come to my rescue with the ropes.
Let me swim swim swim away, oh other fish.
Let me breathe, inhale, exhale. Let me breathe no such part of you.
We are conjoined together by this rope, oh for the love of water let me swim away.
IN a city of fools
I was careful and cool
but they tore me apart like a hurricane
A hand full of moments
I wished I could change
but I was carried away
Give me therapy
I’m a walking travesty..
At the momento i’m reading this Acid Dreams, well atleast attempting to read it.
It’s the complete social history of LSD and the counterculture it helped to define in the sixties, and how the CIA became obsessed with LSD as an espionage weapon, in which the CIA’s intent was keeping the drug to itself, but ultimately couldn’t prevent the drug from spreading into popular culture.
It’s not as difficult as other books to follow, i mean sure there are a lot of words/ science things i have not a clue about, but it still all manages to make sense in the end. Interesting.
